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The Most Important Relationship

Dr. Karen Quinn • Jan 08, 2015

When we hear the term “relationship” we automatically create images in our mind. Perhaps you think of a significant other, your child, family member, or maybe even a colleague. All have completely different contexts, levels of significance, and most can recognize the importance of nurturing the many relationships in our life. One relationship that is often overlooked, and is the most important of all, is that with yourself. This can be a tough concept to swallow. Can you honestly say your self-relationship is healthy? How do you know? What thoughts and words do you direct towards yourself? Do you eat well and exercise regularly to show respect for your physical body? Do you keep agreements you make with yourself? If identifying your self-love is tough, let’s step back and observe how we treat our most prized possessions.
 
Imagine you have just received the keys to a shiny, brand new luxury vehicle. You have been ogling this vehicle for as long as you can remember, spent countless hours envisioning driving down the most picturesque highway and even have a pet name for it. It is more than a car to you, it is a symbol for what you’ve set a goal toward and worked hard to achieve. You wouldn’t dream of letting just anyone drive it, you keep it clean and polished, and you only fuel it with the most optimal fuel available. You respect it…and you covet what it symbolizes. Now let’s look back on our only true one “possession”. We receive one body in this lifetime. Do you have goals around achieving and maintaining optimal health? First and foremost, can you actually envision what this looks and feels like? This may be where you start. Do you have a strong healthcare team supporting you and your goals to the degree you need and want? Do you think and speak good things about yourself and those around you? Do you invite positive, uplifting people in your life who challenge you to show up at your best? Do you fuel your mind and body with only the best nourishing, healthy thoughts and food? How you answer is not only an indicator of your current relationship with yourself, but also clues to where to start in order to improve moving forward.
 
All healthy relationships begin with a healthy relationship with ourselves, and relationships we currently hold (of all contexts) often reflect where we stand in our own skin. Like what you see? Keep it up. Room for improvement? Start with you. Just as negative habits can feed downward spirals in health and happiness, the opposite can be true too. A healthy body, mind and spirit becomes a positive self-fulfilling cycle and it all starts with intent.
 
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ...As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”  from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?...As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
— Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
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